Shedding Layers

Walk through your home and hold in your hands, everything you own…. (not all at once lol) As you hold each item, if it does not bring you JOY, let go of it!!! It is said this needs to be done slowly, with plenty of time and space to pause and explore the relationship you have with each item.  I have read about his concept so many times and even though I have shed MANY, MANY layers of material “things” I have never taken the time to FEEL my way through it.  I would consider myself extremely familiar with letting go of “stuff” but I have always found a way to clutter my life back up again with an accumulation of more things! I seem to do most of my shedding after a failed relationship and my GOODNESS there have been PLENTY of those.  (I’ll hold onto some of those gems to share later…..) Each shedding was its own process that was quite reflective of the space I was in.  One layer was about blindly and quite angrily just throwing everything away.

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I threw away everything that meant anything, even a lot of sentimental family items and journals and book of poetry that I wrote. Lifetimes of pictures and gifts from my mother or a necklace from my grandmother that I still cry about.  So many things that I just tossed aside…….. Another time I held onto absolutely EVERYTHING, I just COULDN’T let go of anything. I think I even shopped my way through that break up to fill the emptiness I was feeling.  Then there was a layer that I let go of everything that was heavy or big.

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All heavy furniture, all BIG pieces of artwork, etc… Then I started to shift and thought I understood what was important to hold on to and let go of.  I started shedding clothes and shoes and bags and little chotskies.  I started holding onto memories; a shirt that made me smile from an awesome concert, a letter from my mother that reminded me who I am,  a special necklace from someone who made it specifically for me.  I started to live a life I wanted to remember and wanted to “collect” those memories in tangible form.  Then next shedding came when I downsized from a home that I shared with just my daughter to joining homes with my mother.  I let go of more “things” and kept what mattered the most and we combined households to all 3 live together.  We lived together for about 2 1/2 years and filled that home up good with lots of “stuff”.  When my daughter and I moved into our own space, I gifted us an apartment down by the beach with approximately 2000 sqft.  There was so much space, we moved in light and had lots of open space and kept it that way for quite awhile.  We LOVED that apartment and took advantage of the proximity and walked down to the sand every morning for a walk on the beach to greet the sun as daylight shot up from the sea.

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It was a beautiful time and we really FELT our life.  Approximately 1 year ago today, after a sequence of events that led to the end of another relationship, I did the biggest down size of my life and moved my 7 year old daughter and I into a 500 sqft efficiency in Downtown Delray Beach, FL.  At that point it was the only thing on the market that I cold afford and I needed something immediately!!  We were heading out on a vacation in June and I figured I would let the dust settle from everything and then move into something with more space when I had more time to look.  The Universe is sooooooo wise…….. It knew before we did and gave us the PERFECT place to dream and plan and save and create the adventure we about to embark on.  At the end of June 2015, we went on a two week camping trip out west and we whispered a dream, we talked about maybe “someday”, as if it was a far off place that existed only in fairytales, that maybe someday we could spend a year on the road camping and living light and FREE.  That we would let mountains steal our hearts and waterfalls marry our souls and we would continue to find our souls out on trails…….. We would talk and laugh and whisper and dream and at the end of those two weeks we cried so deeply it hurt because we didn’t want to leave, but we made each other a pinkie promise on Bright Angel Trail in the Grand Canyon that we would return!!!

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Little did we know what the next year would bring! So this shedding is about being present, about FEELING my way through the letting go of “things” and tangible memories, yet also knowing what REALLY matters.  I have done a lot of preliminary getting rid of clothes and shoes and bags and obvious let go of items that were just taking space, and now it’s down to the nitty gritty.  Now it’s time to take the time to pause and breathe and feel each item and listen to my heart as it guides me.  So I have 3 piles going; 1) I hold this and it brings me so much joy I need to bring it on the road, (don’t worry this pile is very small) 2) I hold this and it brings me so much joy I am willing to pay money to store it so I will have it in my home in the future, (this pile is a bit bigger) and 3) I hold this and nothing really happens, (sometimes I even feel myself trying to force a smile to feel joy because it’s something I think I’m supposed to love, lol…… so silly)!  The third group I separate between garage sale and just donate and after the garage sale whatever is left I will donate!! I was surprised at some of the reactions.  Somethings I didn’t think would move me, had a PROFOUND effect on my being and I simple KNEW I had to keep or let go, somethings there was nothing, and when nothing came I would sit until I gained clarity.  I am only one night of many into this process, but I am AMAZED at the work that is being done already.  I am beyond grateful that I am creating the time to feel my way through this!!! I know in my bones I will come out the other side a changed being.  I already feel lighter, kinder, more in line with my truth and more authentic than I ever have.  I have shed plenty of tears and stuff so far and I’m sure there is much more of both to come.  Thank you for bearing witness to my process………

Love & Light

Me

9 thoughts on “Shedding Layers

  1. I love the simplicity in you thoughtful shedding. Inspiring truth within to come clear… 💛 If you still have some items that I showed interest in, let me know.

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  2. I absolutely loved reading this and felt the shifts and changes with what you are keeping and what you are releasing. So exciting that you are LIVING and leaving a trail to show others how in this blog!! Sending love and gratitude!! XOXO

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